What I'm taking...What I'm leaving behind...

I am working on having a Moving Sale this weekend, selling off TONS of belongings. We are moving in 6 weeks and we wanted to get our things shipped to the USA soon, so we have had to sort through things quickly. The sale seemed the obvious thing to do, though I am pretty dang tired now!!

The more I am visualizing leaving the UK the more I think about what I am leaving behind. And as for the friends I'm leaving behind, well there aren't very many! I've made NONE in the past 1 1/2 years and I can hardly believe it. It really struck me today as I was at the pre-school and NO ONE spoke to me, even though I look friendly, act open and make the intention to speak to others. I came home and was in tears. I am moving, put up signs there to advertise my Moving Sale, and not one person there asked me how it is all going, or anything. People are just too busy to care. And it makes me feel so sad. Today I feel like the whole world doesn't care. Sigh.

I am lonely, wish I was doing my house sale with a friend, or family member to help me out. It is when I am "doing things" that I notice that it would be a lot more fun to have a friend to help me. I normally drift along, doing stuff with my husband, so I guess I have forgotten about real friends. And the funny thing is that I just don't see how I have been unfriendly or closed to people. Some people have said that British villagers can be insular, so perhaps that is part of it. Still, I see lots of people who look like they could use friends (or at least a smile). Have I had up some sort of subconsious barrier?

I just wish I'd made more of an effort. I know that I was depressed for a long time, and that affected my outlook, but I still wish I had made friends. I wish I had some friends to be leaving behind. People who would miss me. It feels bad to leave England, and have few people care that I am leaving.

Okay, well that's enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I really am treasuring the transition time and it feels full of some sort of pure, zingy energy. I have so much to look forward to, and change is invigorating. I am really happy to be getting rid of most of it actually. I am excited that I'll be able to get new junk when I get to the USA. TARGET, here I come!

Week 2 of my 100 Day Challenge (Series 2)!

I'm on my second week, and I'm behind on things. I had a "hiccup" because my cold made me tired last week, and then my son had a fever on and off for a few days and nights. I didn't sleep well as a result of that, which meant I lost my momentum on my Challenge. I did in fact do a lot of organizing, cancelling subscriptions, contacted some of my family, etc. I've learned that even when we feel "out of it" we can find something that we can do to keep ourselves on track. When I am unable to do anything I end up depressed. That is different than choosing to do nothing, I guess it makes me feel out of control and unproductive. Sigh.

There is also a feeling of sadness hovering around me, like a bittersweet taste in my mouth (it might be the dark chocolate rice cake I just ate). It is the feeling that even though I am moving forward with my life, I am leaving my beloved England behind. I dreamt of living here for almost 2 decades, finally moved in 2000, got married, etc. My life fell into a rut here for awhile, I didn't "do" all of the things I meant to do while living here, and now I am living with the question of regret. I won't allow myself to regret though, I accept everything as part of the lessons of life. I still have 8 weeks to "Live in England" so will absolutely make the most of it!!!

Aside from "Pondering the Future" I've doing lots of talking (and some grumbling) with DH and we finally booked our flights!!

In the past week I also accomplished:

1. Lost 3 pounds!
2. Managed to exercise each day, and eat 80% of my target foods.
3. Set the dates for our move, told my Mom, arranged to stay with her in the USA.
4. Completed the application form for the VISA, am nearly ready to post it.
5. Organized 2 cupboards!!
6. Decided that we will ship only what we absolutely love to the USA (no furniture).

This week is about:
Making an 8-Week Plan, Deciding on the things I will experience before leaving the UK, Posting the Visa application, Making a Health Chart (I'm so much better with keeping on track when I have a chart to "tick things off of." Probably an ADD thing!), and doing my Decision Teaching Video.

I read a quote yesterday that I've been keeping in my head. I have moments where I wonder if I can accept and embrace all of the changes that I am going to be making soon, both the exciting ones and the daunting ones...and this quote hit the spot:

When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that’s necessary for believing in it. Ugo Betti

I'll be putting more videos up soon, stay tuned!!
Clarissa xoxoxoxo

New Challenges and staring my next 100 Day Challenge!!

I am SO EXCITED to be revealing that we have made the decision about where our family will move this summer!!
We are going to move to the USA to be nearer to my family!

I have danced around this option for a couple of years, gotten close to doing it once, then backed off. I have had a lot to resolve in myself before I felt ready to be open to my family again. There are several things that led me to this decision, and it would take awhile to write it all down. I think I will do a video on it soon. The very last piece to the puzzle was found after reading a great article on Decicion Making. I found myself asking "What do I want to Experience?" The answer was: support, friends, ease of living, fun, Colin staying in pre-school (not going into Intake year here in the UK), and spending some time with my family. When my husband asked me if I could put off seeing my family so we'd have time to move and resettle, I got very upset and couldn't even speak to him.

Within 24 hours I knew that I had to go live near to my family for awhile (not just a 2 week holiday) and everything else would just have to wait! The funny thing is now that everything I want to experience will be met by moving over there!

So, on the back of this Monumental Decision I officially began my 2nd 100 Day Challenge with Co-Creating Our Reality on May 18th! Check out my latest YouTube Video to see what I am Intended to Manifest! May 18th happens to be the anniversary of the eruption of Mt. St. Helens (pictured) and that is near where I am from. Seemed like the perfect day to set my intention to move back! I intend that manifestations will explode all around me in easy, positive ways!

I am also going to use Weekly Intentions to help guide the process. I will normally do this here each Sunday, but I've had a cold so am just gettin round to doing my blog today, oh well!

This weeks Intentions:

1. I post off the completed application for my husband's Visa to the USA.
2. I find a charity that can use our unwanted baby items.
3. I finish my Vision Video for Season 2!
4. Set up menus for healthy eating
5. I have lost 2+ pounds
6. I have organized 2 cupboards
7. I have taken photos of Colin's artwork
8. I've made my health appointments

That's it for today, tune in again soon!
Clarissa J. Kelly